Q. What did the mathematical acorn say when it grew up?
A. Gee I'm a tree (Geometry).
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun
Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.
Q. Why is the number six scared of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine (7 ate 9)!
Q. What do you call a crushed angle?
A. A rectangle!
Pupil: Would you punish me for something I haven't done? Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: That's good because I haven't done my homework!
Q. Why is a dog with a bad foot like adding 6 and 7? A. Because he puts down three and carries the one.
Q. Why are misers good Maths Teachers? A. Because they know how to make every penny count!.
Q. Why are powers like fish? A. Because they're all indices (in the seas!)
Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.
Q. Why did the Maths textbook look so sad? A. Because it had so many problems and the chemistry book had all the solutions.
There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.
If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.
Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive!
Q. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A. Pi in the sky.
3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
Q. What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?
A. A high-pot-in-use!
Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back. We don't know Y either.
Q. Why did the (x2+1) tree fall over?
A. Because it had no real roots!
I will do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics but geometry and graphing is where I draw the line!
Calendars, their days are numbered.
I don't understand how to double 2n. It sounds 4n to me.
Always wear glasses to Maths lessons. They help with division!
I see you have graph paper. You must be plotting something!
Q. What did the complementary angle say to the acute angle?
A. You are looking nice today.
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GCSE Revision and Practice
Whatever exam board you use for GCSE Mathematics, this book by David Rayner remains an all-round winner. With this latest edition presented in full colour and completely updated for the new GCSE(9-1) specifications, this uniquely effective text continues to increase your chance of obtaining a good grade.
This book is targeted at the Higher tier GCSE, and provides a wealth of practice with careful progression, alongside substantial revision support for the new-style grading and exam questions. With all the new topics included, and a dedicated section on using and applying mathematics, this unique resource can be used either as a course book over two or three years or as a revision text in the run-up to exams. more...