Maths Jokes

The acorn

Q. What did the mathematical acorn say when it grew up?
A. Gee I'm a tree (Geometry).


Halloween

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi


Mathematicians at the beach

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun


Zero said to eight

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!


Terrorist

New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of Maths instruction


Mermaid

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.


Fear

Q. Why is the number six scared of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine (7 ate 9)!


Crushed Angle

Q. What do you call a crushed angle? A. A rectangle!


No homework

Pupil: Would you punish me for something I haven't done? Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: That's good because I haven't done my homework!


Dog with a bad foot

Q. Why is a dog with a bad foot like adding 6 and 7? A. Because he puts down three and carries the one.


Misers

Q. Why are misers good Maths Teachers? A. Because they know how to make every penny count!.


Powers

Q. Why are powers like fish? A. Because they're all indices (in the seas!)


How many times?

Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.


Sad Textbook

Q. Why did the Maths textbook look so sad? A. Because it had so many problems!


Three types of people

There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.


Hot corner

If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there.


Binary

There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.


Calculus

Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive!


Sun Circle

Q. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A. Pi in the sky.


Sailors

3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!


High Cooking

Q. What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?
A. A high-pot-in-use!


Algebra

Dear Algebra, stop asking to to find your X, she's not coming back. We don't know Y either.


Bill,

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

"Why was 6 afraid of seven? Answer:because 7 8 9 (seven ate nine!)."

Sanjeev,

Thursday, March 13, 2014

"I had an argument with a ninety degree angle. It turns out it was right!"

Jaffa,

Monday, May 19, 2014

"Q. What is sine jerine over cosine jerine?
A. Tangerine?"

Adi, Fiji

Thursday, June 5, 2014

"Son:''My Math Teacher is crazy''.
Mother:'' Why??
Son:Yesterday she told us that 5 is 4+1;today she is telling us that 5 is 3+2 !!"

Joey, Essex

Friday, June 6, 2014

"Keith: 'How many sides does a square have?'
Joey: 'Six'
Keith: 'You are an idiot! How did you figure that out?'
Joey: 'Well it has a top, a bottom, a left side, a right side, an inside and an outside!'."

Isoball, Mawiner

Monday, June 23, 2014

"Knock knock,
Who's there?
Canoe,
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my maths?"

Josie,

Monday, July 7, 2014

"MATHS TEACHER : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

STUDENT: I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter."

Sakshi, Nanded

Friday, August 1, 2014

"Q: How can you make seven even?
A: by removing the 's'!"

Do you have any comments? It is always useful to receive feedback and helps make this free resource even more useful for those learning Mathematics anywhere in the world. Click here to enter your comments.

Apple

©1997-2014 WWW.TRANSUM.ORG